It’s time to get serious with my health and lifestyle. I need to make some changes and I need to do it right now. Why do I need to make some serious health and lifestyle changes? I’m a 47 year old mother of 2 teenage boys, very small boned, carrying almost 15 kilos of excess weight around my torso, have an underactive thyroid and a family history of Lupus and other autoimmune diseases. I have not regularly exercised since my teens, although over the years I’ve joined about 10 different gyms, gone crazy for about 3 weeks then stopped. I watch people who exercise in group sessions at local parks and wish I could do that too, but then I go home and eat some chocolate!
Did I mention that I’m also a serious chocoholic and can’t go a day without chocolate? I’d like to think I’m a reasonably healthy eater because I’m careful not to eat processed foods, I don’t drink very often, I mainly eat dark chocolate and I stay away from preservatives, artificial colours and flavours. However, I eat large portions, I eat chocolate often, I eat when I’m bored, I eat chocolate often, I don’t eat enough vegetables and did I mention that I eat chocolate often? I think you’ve got the picture now. Basically I kid myself I’m quite healthy because I do some of the right things, but really I’m a long way behind where I should be.
I have seen some recent photos that have really made me feel disgusted with myself. My belief on weight loss is this – not everyone is thin and not everyone looks good thin. In fact most people look better with some weight, including me. I have always been very tiny, so seeing myself looking weighty is quite a shock to me. Others would say I already look small. As they say, beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. To me I look awful. I certainly wouldn’t “do” me! People may say I’m being harde on myself but read on … it’s not only about looks.
The other factor that is extremely important to me is how I feel health wise. If I was fit, healthy and ate well and was the current size I am I would be a happy girl because that is how I am meant to be. But because I am unfit, unwell and feeling older than my 47 years – I am very uncomfortable with this look.
I admit, most of us like to look gorgeous and sexy and be appealing to both sexes – yes I said both sexes – because let’s face it girls, we love other girls to think we look great too! However I don’t believe that we have to look like Jennifer Aniston or whoever you fancy to feel sexy and gorgeous. We all have curves, lumpy bits and if we’ve had kids – well our best assets have probably dropped a few points! This doesn’t mean we can no longer look gorgeous and sexy – we can, no matter what our size. The key is how we feel on the inside because it really does radiate out.
Even when I’m at a healthier weight, I still have a tummy – I always have and I always will. I’m ok with that because I’m not prepared to do the exercise to get rid of it. At the moment I am not ok with it – I bent over yesterday to pick something up and my stomach got in my way. I was so embarrassed and upset with myself. Not only does it look bad, it restricts my movements and it is the worst weight I can carry in terms of heart disease.
I’m also not very good at pain, hence the lack of serious exercise, and I’m a bit of a procrastinator, okay a lot of a procrastinator (I try to kid myself here too!). But I can’t do that anymore – the proof of this is documented here in previous blogs!! If I’m not made accountable, I will almost always quit if it becomes too time consuming, well that’s the excuse I use. I think most of us have used that one. “I’d love to exercise but I just don’t have enough time” we say with what we believe is absolute sincerity.
This brings me to where I am today. I’ve been fluffing around with some diets, healthy eating options etc for about 2 months now. Pretending I’m serious, when in fact it is a smokescreen to appear that I’m doing something. All I have been doing is putting off the inevitable. There are 3 things, that is it, only 3 things I need to do:
1. Eat less
2. Eat healthier options
I need to do this now because I don’t want to reach 50 and have serious health problems that I could have avoided. The ridiculous thing is I know all this stuff and I know what I need to do but I am so bad at starting these things. I am excellent at making excuses and really excellent at eating chocolate.
Now that I’ve started blogging and putting myself “out there” I figured if I put this “out there” it will give me some momentum and make me a bit more accountable.
I am not going on a fad diet as such, but I am following a program where I gently detox for 2 weeks cutting out Dairy, starchy carbs (bread, white pasta, cakes etc), coffee and … it’s so hard for me to write this … CHOCOLATE! During this period I am also training my body to accept smaller portions. I also have to start doing at least 30 minutes of gentle exercise per day.
Great – as I am typing this I am thinking how am I going to do this? I just gave myself an uppercut because I need to start with the right attitude. I can do this. Many people I know are battling terminal cancer and living with debilitating diseases and I’m whinging about doing this. Get over yourself Annie!!!!!!
The universe has been extremely kind to me and it’s time I repaid it by looking after myself. I can do this and I am going to use my blog to keep me accountable. Does blogging help you stay accountable?
PS If you are a Weight Loss Company Tweep, please don’t follow me because I don’t want to buy your quick fix pill, protein supplement, exercise contraption or cellulite wraps. Thank you.