“I’m Sorry” Part II – Sorry Mummy xx

This is Part II of my “I’m sorry” posts.  If you haven’t read Part I you can read it here.

My two boys were not angels – in fact they bordered on little devils most of the time.  They were high spirited, inquisitive and often naughty little boys.   They got into mischief (alot of it), they were cheeky (often) and they didn’t always listen to me (rarely).  Consequently they ended up being sent to their rooms (alot).  The Super Nanny wasn’t invented when they were little and the phrase “naughty chair or corner” had not yet been coined.  It was still an old fashioned time back in the 90’s!

Whilst they were in their rooms paying their penance, I doubted very much that they were thinking about what they had done.  They were usually playing with their toys, or, as they sometimes did, they fell asleep lying on their beds.  I used to try and talk (ok lecture) them, but keeping the attention of a 7 and an 8 year old was next to impossible.  I like to give really long lectures and repeat myself at least 3 times.  It is a mandatory mum thing and it is not rivetting listening for anyone.  It used to end up messy because I would get cranky all over again when they weren’t listening to me.  They have since given me advice on my lecturing skills and have told me on many occasions how much of their life I wasted with my long lectures.  Sometimes kids can be so ungrateful!

One day I decided that when they were sent to their room they were going to write me a “sorry” letter.  The letter would address the reason they were in their room, how they felt about it and how they would show the other person they were sorry.  I really wasn’t sure how it was going to work, but I felt it would at the very least give them an opportunity to reflect on their actions.  Something I don’t think they were doing when just being sent to their room to do whatever they liked.

I believe that if you don’t actually think about what you’ve done and how it affected someone else it is very hard to be truly sorry.    It is also very hard to ask a 7 and 8 year old boy to reflect on such things.  That is unless you get them to write.   Now this wasn’t easy to start with.  They complained and whined, but once they realised they weren’t coming out until they wrote me a letter, they soon started writing.

At times I felt they wrote words they knew I wanted to hear and I’m not sure how genuine their meaning was.  However, regardless of this, I believe it still gave them cause to think.  They learnt to write down their feelings.  They learnt to write letters with loving words in them.  This has truly made them better at expressing their feelings.  They give me wonderful birthday cards now with really heartfelt words in them.    I have shared a couple of their sorry letters below along with two lovely birthday card messages.

Maybe some of you already do this with your children?   I really believe it helped my boys to get in touch with their inner feelings and it taught them how to share them with the people they love.  It didn’t really help with spelling though.  I never corrected their spelling mistakes.  I felt this would spoil the sentiment.  Plus now when I look back I love some of the cute spelling errors.

If you click on the letters they will open in another window and be easier to read.  I hope you think they are as cute as I do.  I’m so glad I kept most of the things they wrote me.  It was such a wonderful experience reading back through them all over this weekend.  There was a tear or two shed.

 

Below are the two birthday messages they gave me last year.  I always get a tear or two.

                                                                            

Mr 18 & me & my many chins

Mr 16

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About Annieb25

A mum to 2 teenage boys, would be writer, thirsty for knowledge, Radio Solution solver on Radio 1116 4BC and so much more!!
This entry was posted in Family, My Boys, Parenting, Writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to “I’m Sorry” Part II – Sorry Mummy xx

  1. A-M says:

    “I have put a lot of effort into this letter”…. PRICELESS! Oh I love them! I would have cried too! Hubby and I have just had a chuckle… we have just started receiving similar letters… they even spell the same… must be the age. You should be so proud! A-M xx

  2. Katrina says:

    Oh Annie…what a great post! And how gorgeous are those little notes?! Great idea too. So lucky to have such cute memories 🙂

  3. Bern Morley says:

    Oh Annie, you are my inspiration. You didn’t take the easy road and it has paid off.

    What handsome, lovely young men you have there.

    I always feel so bad when I get cross at my kids, even though I know at the time it is essential for their long-term character. But it still feels so shitty at the time.

    I can see the end result with this post (fingers crossed) It’s not all roses, but it certainly isn’t all thorns either.

    xx

  4. Excellent. I am going to try this next time my kids are in their room for ‘time out’. The notes are priceless. Definitely something to treasure.

  5. Jodi Gibson says:

    Annie, what a fantastic idea. I often hear myself saying “Well sorry isn’t good enough!”. I had to laugh last week when miss 4 got in trouble, said sorry and then said, “Is sorry good enough Mum!”
    I am going to try this with the older 2, although they are mostly good, and once Miss 4 and Miss 2 are older. I think it is a great idea!
    And those birthday notes are just beautiful, brought a tear to my idea. What a beautiful pair of boys you have Annie. Congratulations.

  6. Maxabella says:

    Annie, this is a fantastic idea for teaching our boys to express themselves and think about the way they impact on others. It has also resulted in your being able to keep cherished memories and precious little-boy-love alive. What is absolutely unbeeeelievable is that you have an 18 yo and a 16 yo BOY who write birthday letters to their mum expressing such tenderness. Unheard of! Truly special.

  7. macsnorky says:

    Annie, I love these! It’s like getting blood from a stone to get my Mr9 to write a line in a birthday card, so I can only dream about receiving something like these. I will keep the letter idea in mind for future misdemeanours though 😉

  8. Ali says:

    They are the most beautiful letters and cards ever!!
    My mum kept things like that from us and I also kept notes my mum wrote me!
    I plan on keeping everything from my kids like that too
    Your boys are beautiful what a great mum you are xxx

  9. Sarah (Maya_Abeille) says:

    Just beautiful. What treasures. Annie your sons partners will love you forever too, what emotional maturity they show, largely thanks to your wonderful guidance. I’m going to borrow that note-writing idea when my kids are old enough too. Thanks so much for sharing.

  10. Thea says:

    Oh Annie, these are so beautiful, the letters and the photos.
    I used to get the kids in my class to write sorry letters and I’d forgotten all about it.
    When my 2 are big enough, I’ll remember this. Thanks for the reminder. x

  11. Firstly, how handsome are your boys – that cheeky glint is still in their eyes, that’s for sure.

    My personal favourite is the letter from Mitchell, letting you know he ‘doesn’t have the rite to yell at you but you have the rite to yell at me’.

    It also is a reminder of the importance of the art of letter writing – there is nothing more wonderful to receive than a handwritten letter from a loved one. I’m going to write a letter to my kids today.

    Thanks so much for sharing Annie xo

  12. BuBbles says:

    Oh those letters are just so precious, particularly the birthday letters and yes, they brought tears to my eyes.

    I hope that one day, when my little BuBba turns in to a young man, he too will be in touch with his emotions and show respect and love to me in a way that your boys do to you.

    BuBbles
    x.

  13. Oh wow! You need to write to the Super Nanny and give her some tips!!!!
    Great post
    xx

  14. Cate P says:

    You have raised two lovely boys who are now becoming two lovely men. Their future wives will thank you.

  15. Seraphim says:

    Annie these letters were read on a day when I so needed them. Thank you. With one family member behaving somewhat wilfully I was at my wits end. Thanks to you I was able to use the art of letter writing and tonight they have gone to bed, cuddled and loved and I will go to bed with their sweet and apologetic letter by my bedside.
    You really are an extraordinary problem solver.
    You helped me see there is an endpoint in some ways, that it is all worth it, even the tough bits!

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