Old, Sad, Forgotten … Why?

“I am so lonely at night.  I have no one to talk to from the time I get home at 3.30 pm until I go out again the next day at 10.00 am.  The dark makes me sad.”

“My dog is my only company and he’s getting old and his hips are very sore.  I might have to have him put down.  I am scared of being without him.  I will be totally alone then.”

“No one comes to visit me.  My daughter only calls me if she wants money.”

“I haven’t spoken to anyone for three days.”

These are real words spoken by real elderly people I have spoken to in the past week. They make me cry.  They make me scared to get old.

It seems the older a person becomes the less visible they are.  They are no longer deemed important once their bodies and minds start to fail and it appears they no longer have anything to offer the mainstream world.

I know I am generalising because I do know many people who love and cherish their older relatives and take extremely good care of them, however I do know that too many people don’t.

I spend a lot of time with elderly people due to the care I provide for my Mother in Law each week and regular visits with her 70 year old brother and cousin.  The more time I spend with them the more I realise that, whilst their bodies are frail and their minds are failing them, inside is still a human being who hasn’t forgotten what it is like to love, laugh and cry.  Sadly many of them have more cause to cry than they have to love and laugh.

I fear as a society we tend to write off old people as “past their use by date”.   Would you ask the opinion of a 75 year old woman on a social issue pertinent to something going on today?  Whilst they are often thought of as “old fashioned” what we tend to forget is they have seen the world change more than any other generation of people who have ever lived. Think about what Australia was like in the 1930’s and 1940’s and think about it now.  Wow. How valuable are their stories and perspectives?  Incredibly important I think.

Sadly, we treat their views as “what would they know, things are different now, old people are always whining about the good old days”.  We discard them along with all the other things we throw away when they are no longer “in vogue”. Once upon a time we made our stuff last a lifetime.  We looked after our belongings, we treasured them.  Everything could be mended and fixed, many times over.  We didn’t throw things away.  If something broke it might be fashioned into something else, or it was kept in the shed “just in case”.   Nothing was discarded.

In previous times our elderly were also better taken care of.  Families seemed to have more time to spend with their parents and grandparents.  Family outings included all generations.  In many cases up to three generations lived in the same home.   The elderly were called upon to impart advice, provide assistance with rearing of children, help with cooking and mending. They were included.   They had a purpose.  They weren’t discarded.

A conversation with an elderly person is something special.  They know about things we couldn’t even imagine.  They lived in a time that we would struggle to survive in now (although many of us do yearn for simpler times).  Many of them had very tough upbringings.  Often kids worked from age ten.  They supported their family.  They didn’t get a part time job so they could save to go on an overseas holiday or buy a car or just party with mates.  No, they worked part time and sometimes full time and gave the money they earned to their father or mother and it was used to buy groceries or pay bills.  That’s just how things were.  They still had dreams and hopes like we all do.  Success meant falling in love, working hard and owning a home, having a family and to be happy.  Sure they measured success differently, but sometimes when I look at the world today, I think perhaps they were a bit more on the money than we are.

To hear them tell of meeting the love of their life and to see their tired pale eyes suddenly sparkle again for a moment is beautiful.  To feel the sadness of the loss they still feel when love left them is heart wrenching.  Things were different, love was different, yet it still had the ability to make them soar with happiness and crash with despair – just like it does today. Love 100 years ago, 50 years ago, 20 years ago, 5 years ago still comes with the exact same feelings.

When was the last time you sat down and talked to an elderly person?   Not chit chat about the weather and their latest ailments, but really asked them important questions about their life.  Of course they will want to tell you about their arthritis and sore back and ingrown toenails, that’s what they do, but underneath that is world of stories that will make you laugh and make you cry.  You just have to take the time to ask and listen.   Once they start it is hard to stop them – they literally go back on the journey with you – it truly makes their day and it will make yours too.

So next time you see your granny or grandpa or the old lady next door, sit down with them and really talk to them.  You will be surprised how long it’s been since someone really wanted to talk to them about them and their life and what matters to them.

Also, do you have any elderly people in your street?  Do you know them?  Do you know their names?  Do they have regular visits from family and friends?  Do you not have any idea?  So many elderly people live alone without regular visits from family and friends. Most often the only person they see each day is the Meals on Wheels volunteer.  Next time you see an elderly person, smile and say hello.  Help them if they are struggling.  You could be the only person they have spoken to all day.  You will most likely make their day.

Christmas is coming up, quite often the loneliest time of the year for many of our elderly. Is there something you can do to make one elderly person’s Christmas a little bit sweeter?

About Annieb25

A mum to 2 teenage boys, would be writer, thirsty for knowledge, Radio Solution solver on Radio 1116 4BC and so much more!!
This entry was posted in Family, Volunteering and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

43 Responses to Old, Sad, Forgotten … Why?

  1. Thea says:

    Annie, this post is just beautiful, and I am crying.
    I have no grandparents left anymore but my father-in-law is elderly.
    We are very guilty of not ‘seeing’ him. We visit every week and the most we say is ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’…if he’s not dozing. He is so deaf he can’t hear very much even with his hearing aids, so that makes him not only invisible but silent…it is very sad.
    Thank you for this reminder.

    • Annieb25 says:

      It is hard when they are deaf. Hold his hand, take some photos for him to look at. Shout if you have to. He’ll appreciate it. xxx

  2. thanks for this post–i’m taking care of (as i can) my 81-year-old mother, who sometimes takes care of me. It’s humbling work, for sure, but i think that she’s living a better life than she would without a member of the family present to share memories (and to help her write her memoirs). i in turn am learning a lot about my family, and both of us about her mother and father (mom was adopted).

    if you’re interested in mom’s stuff, her blog is at http://momsmemoirs.wordpress.com.

    thanks again for looking at things for an older person’s viewpoint! RT

    • Annieb25 says:

      wow thank you. I have book marked your mum’s blog to read at my leisure. I’m so sad we didn’t write down my Mother in Law’s stories. She now has dementia and they are lost forever. So sad.

  3. macsnorky says:

    A beautiful post Annie. I shed a tear for all the stories I can no longer hear from my grandparents.

  4. Lucy says:

    Oh Annie.

    It is Wednesday.

    The day I give up for my Mum and my Great Aunt. I’ll be honest. I resent that they are my “duty”. But this post has made me realise I need to be a lot more generous.

    Wonderful. You are.


    • Annieb25 says:

      Lucy you can learn so much from them. Ask them about love. Ask them about what it was like on their wedding day. How did they feel? Ask them questions you would ask your girlfriends. They have such great stories to tell. xx

  5. Purple_cath says:

    Lovely piece. I was thinking the same myself the other day. I wish we placed more emphasis on the importance of elders in our community. I know some cultures do but the majority do not. They have been there before and everything you write is so true- if only we took the time to listen and learn from the wealth of their knowledge and experiences. In some ways I too am afraid of getting older for the fact that people may not realise you have had those feelings and experiences too with the response being ‘what would u know’. Thankfully just on Sunday our large extended family were able to help celebrate my grandads 90th birthday. If I’m travelling as well as he is at that age dancing and bowling and surrounded by so many people full of love I’ll be very content. Important post. Thx Annie xx

  6. lisa Heidke says:

    A beautiful, heartfelt post, Annie.
    Very sad. I am fearful of aging too…
    Thank you for this thought provoking piece.

  7. annelise says:

    A friend of mine, who is a nurse, said that an elderly lady told her that the best bit about going to the supermarket was when the person who served her put money back in her hand because it was the only human touch she felt all week. It makes me teary whenever I think about it.

    It’s a great post and it’s such a shame that most of us need reminding (myself included).

  8. This is very true; Annie, again you hit the nail on the head with your astute observations.
    We do, however have 2 other ‘catagories’ of people who face these challenges:

    “I am so lonely at night. I have no one to talk to from the time I get home at 3.30 pm until I go out again the next day at 10.00 am. The dark makes me sad.”

    “I haven’t spoken to anyone (adult)for three days.”

    The disabled; and single parents especially single mums.

    The forgotten, unthought of, uncared for are here in our society of very short use-by-dates.
    Christmas can bring crushing lonliness – heart breaking isoaltion & and terrible sorrow as memoires of how it used to be flare up.

    I hope each reader will reach out to someone somewhere, and not just for Christmas.

  9. Nat Peck says:

    Annie, what a beautiful and heartfelt post! As you know, I have young kids; hence I tend to spend a lot of time talking/socialising with others who also have littlies. On reading your post, it made me start to wonder, how often do I interact with elderly people? Do my children know any elderly people? The answer, sadly is no. We live in a neighbourhood filled with young families, and even at our local shops/pool/cafe I rarely see seniors. We also live far away from our parents. But even then, in my eyes I guess I don’t class them as ‘elderly’ – although that is fast approaching.
    It wasn’t always like this. Spending time with older people was once just part of life. Growing up in Ryde, we had many elderly neighbours, whom we spoke to daily and mum was always sending us over with cakes, books, to take in their mail etc. Two grandparents in my family also suffered dementia and lived with us at various times when I was small.
    When I first started dating my husband, he was posted to Garden Island in Sydney. Although by rights he should have been living on the base, or in his own apartment like the other 23yo mates, instead he requested to live with her beloved Nanna, who still lived in her own home in the inner suburbs. She was a sprightly 91 then, but a series of falls and shingles etc were taking their toll. She was an amazing woman. When we weren’t watching bold & the beautiful or commenting on the tennis or what was in the Daily Tele, we talked about her work as a French interpreter, the depression, and her school years. She was a character. When husb would say at 7pm on a sat night that we were heading into the city for a movie etc she’d always say incredulously “The city? You’re not? At this hour” or slip him $50 to take me out for Hawaiian (which translated to Thai). Sure, the house always smelt musty, and we were constantly having to be on hand to see “aunty this or old so and so” and talk about heart medication, the price of lemons or their bowel movements. But it was worth it.
    The time I spent with nanna taught me so many things, and really was a contributing factor as to why I fell in love with my husband. His kindness, patience and obvious friendship with this amazing woman really opened my eyes to him as a man.
    Sometimes we talk about the isolation of motherhood and how at times mums can ‘disappear’ from society. Obviously this is also very much the case with many seniors in our community who are slowly becoming invisible. Annie thanks for this timely reminder and for changing the directions of my thoughts today. You’ve inspired me to see if there’s a way I can somehow reconnected with our older generation, even in some small way. i know i’d benefit just as much as they would.

  10. Jenny C says:

    Annie – thank you. It’s rare that we are reminded of a wonderful element of our community. It’s rare that we are reminded of their work to build what we have today.

    I remember a massage client of mine. In she walked, must have been in her seventies, with odd socks and what I immediately labelled ‘op-shop’ clothes. I remember chatting to her, half-listening…then all of a sudden my ears pricked up. ‘Smithsonian…’, ‘Washington…’, ‘Sixties…’. This little old lady had been on the Board of Directors of the Smithsonian Institute, in the 1960s. What stories she had!

    I have never forgotten her or the lesson she taught me. These ‘old people’ that we ignore, patronise, neglect and don’t have time for are amazing! We forget they have brains, they have creativity, they have had professions and experiences that we so need to hear about.

    What am I teaching my son, when I choose not to give some of my time to them? What is his attitude toward them now? I need to find out.

    Thanks Annie.


  11. Annie, I loved this. My grandparents are all dead, but when I was younger, I wrote to them every week – they always wrote back and I think their letters gave me as much joy as what mine did, them. We forget older people – they aren’t given the respect or attention they deserve.

    On the nightly news, not a week goes by without an older person being attacked for money. How the scum of the earth can do this, is beyond me.
    The vision I have of my Papa, crippled and sad, as he painfully leant down to kiss my Nana goodbye, when she was being flowen to Adelaide by the RFDS, after breaking a hip, sticks in my memory, even after 15 years. He was so lonely after she left, not knowing when she would be home. But he was loved and cared for by all of us, until she did.

    They have wisdon we don’t have and we should love and respect them.

  12. Anna Hill says:

    A timely reminder to appreciate souls that are marinated in experience.

    It is only a small gesture but I often pack my 3 children into the car to drive the 170km to visit my husband’s grandparents for Sunday lunch. Even when my husband is away for work.
    Then earlier this year my much loved Grandfather-In-Law passed away. The peace it has brought to me knowing I made such a small effort that ultimately brought him joy and gave my kids a chance to truly know and love him, is a blessing.
    My own Grandparent live on the other side of the country from me, so I got my cousin who lives next door to them to install a web cam so I can get the kids to Skype call. They are still a little unsure of this modern technology but I know they love to be able to see the kids and it makes them feel more a part of our family.
    It is no hardship to make this small effort as we receive as much as we give.
    (I realise that the life of a carer for elderly people is in no way the same as what I have just described).

  13. Seraphimsp says:

    Oh Annie. I am terrified of getting old for this very reason. We do skype with my grandfather who now lives in Ireland but I am happy knowing he is surrounded by family and loved ones. However it makes me think of the little old man on crutches who lives up our street. Every afternoon he hobbles to his mailbox. We always wave to him, but tomorrow I’m going to go and say hello to him.
    It’s not much, but it’s a start.

  14. I think our society could learn a lot from developing countries and the way they include both the elderly and children in their worlds. My grandfather recently passed away, and it struck me as he lay there dying, that there was a lot of conversation going on around him, over his head, etc. Every one was hugging each other and comiserating, chatting about other things, and although it was good that they were all physically ‘there’; they weren’t actually paying *him* much attention. My mum, however, was holding his hand, and leaning in to talk to him. He wasn’t very aware of what was going on around him, his breathing was incredibly laboured and his eyes were closed. Mum was gently talking to him about his dogs, and telling him it was ok to let go now. I was really struck by her kindness compared to that of every one else in the room. Not surprisingly, she was the one who had visited him weekly during the last 18 months of his life while her siblings barely managed a phone call. He wasn’t the best dad in the world to her, she didn’t feel especially close to him, but she respected that he had done what he could and that no one deserves to live in isolation or be ignored during there last hours, no matter how ‘out of it’ they may seem. A few years ago I went to his house and recorded him talking about his life, various adventures, the way he sees it. He was often difficult to listen to as he would ramble on loudly for ages and sound a bit like he was lecturing. I think my generation needs to learn that you don’t have to do everything in life just for ‘yourself’, because you enjoy it, or because the person deserves it. Sometimes, you do things that you get absolutely nothing out of, or even when the person doesn’t particularly deserve it, just because they are a human being deserving of respect.

  15. Kezza says:

    Annie, great post. I have one Grandmother left who lives interstate. I’m going 2 call her this afternoon after reading your post. I know I don’t call her enough as I get caught up in my own life.

  16. Debbie says:

    Lovely post Annie. The world is full of lonely people .Social relationships are the core of our life & we all need to feel loved & wanted. It is so sad that the elderly, in the twilight of their lives are left to rot, yearning for some meaningful form of human contact.
    I admire migrant families & their strong family values. It is culturally & socially unacceptable in their society to send relatives to nursing homes. I love this quote by the Jewish philosopher ~ Abraham J. Heschel
    “A test of people is how it behaves toward the old. It is easy to love children. Even tyrants & dictators make a point of being fond of children. But the affection & care for the old, the incurable, the helpless are the true gold minds of a culture”

  17. Beautiful Annie. Living on to the other side of the world I am often asked by other cultures why our parents don’t live with us and how we could even consider and “aged care” facility. It’s a bit of a dirty little secret for the Western world isn’t it. Thanks for sharing. Kirsty

  18. Kylie L says:

    I’m late to this Annie, but you’re SO right. As you know, I work in dementia diagnosis so I see a lot of elderly people at work. Some of them just will not stop talking, even after their assessment, and those are invariably the ones that live alone and may not have seen anyone else all day- or all week. I try to give as much time as I can, but with a waiting room full of patients and with funding for our (public hospital) depatment partially dependent on statistics (how many referrals we process a day) I simply don’t have time to sit and chat. It makes me feel bad, because I’m well aware that one day I will be on the other side of the desk….

  19. Such a lovely post Annie, I’m generally not very good with elderly – I don’t know why – it’s just the way it is.
    Tho I do have an oldish neighbour – who only has 1 daughter and 1 grandchild. We have become like another family to her – we all try to take the time to listen to her stories – even my 10 year old is enjoying asking her questions about London and war times.

  20. Jess says:

    Lovely, heartbreaking post, Annie.

    Three of my grandparents are still with us – my dad’s mum is even on facebook! That’s how she keeps up with her squillions of grandkids 🙂

    My other grandparents are older – my gramps is almost (mentally) gone from us now – it’s so hard to see someone slip away in mind when their body is still here.

    Thinking about aging makes me very fearful – especially as my husband and I aren’t planning on having any children. What will life be like when we’re old? Who will there be to talk to us, spend time with us (and what about when there’s only one of us left)? In another country perhaps extended family would be there – but I don’t imagine that will be the case here, as we have no nieces or nephews, either.

    I know I’ll think differently the next time I see an elderly person taking a bit longer chatting to someone – and if that someone is me, I’ll be a bit more patient, and caring.

  21. Fiona says:

    A beautiful post Annie, I miss my grandparents terribly – they passed away over 10 years ago now, and then my Grannie’s BFF died two years ago and I felt like I had lost her all over again (Nancy was like my 2nd grandmother) 🙂
    I love it that our son spends time with my parents (in the country on holidays), and also with my MIL – who has a very huge part in our sons life – she is very active and young at heart…and sees him weekly. I truly feel that we learn a lot from the older people in our community, they can definitely teach us all a few things….

    Annie, you always write so beautifully and from the heart, and your blog topic always make me stop and ponder how Life really is, and how it could be – for me..

    You write what I often think a lot of us are thinking, xxxxx

  22. Jane says:

    This post has made me so sad.

    My mum’s parents (aged 77 and 83) live with me and my family. To be honest with you, I wish they didn’t. I wish they lived just down the road, close enough for me to enjoy their company, but far enough so that I didn’t take them for granted.

    I’ll admit that I do take them for granted. They annoy me. There are times when I just want to be able to chill out in my own house, without them nagging me, asking what I’m going to eat for dinner tomorrow night etc.

    When I was little, I’d cherish the time that I spent with them. I’d get excited about spending the night at their place, I’d love it when they picked me up from school. Now? Nothing. I wish I could get that excited feeling back.

    It makes me so sad to know that one day, they won’t be here, and I’ll regret not making the most of them, but for some reason (I think I’m too stubborn), I can’t feel anything but frustrated and a little resentful that they’re so “in my face” all the time. I know that sounds so horrible. I’m guilty of letting elderly people fly under my radar. Maybe I should get over myself and try to enjoy my grandparents again before its too late. Great post, thank you Annie xx

  23. Maxabella says:

    God love you Annie. x

  24. Madmother says:

    The old are considered as expendable. I have just lost my beautiful Mum at age 91, but our experience with most hospitals, doctors and other allied health professionals is do not look at the person, look at the paper age. This woman had completed her very complicated tax return using excel spreadsheets beginning of August. I believe if we had avoided hospital she would be alive today.

    As a society the elderly are considered a useless drain of resources better used elsewhere. To me they are a vital resource undervalued, tragic loss to our fast paced frenzy of life.

  25. Oh Annie this post had me crying. Those quotes at the start broke my heart. I have two grandmothers, who both live alone, with their darling dogs for company. I know they get lonely. And I so understand loneliness, it’s one thing I really can’t deal with myself, and experience a lot. And it terrifies me to get old and be alone like that. That first quote, about the darkness…. oh. Just oh.

    And this is where I make excuses, and say, I try to spend as much time with my grandmothers as possible, but with the kids and running around and I just don’t get there more than once a week….

    Thank you for writing this, Annie. You’ve hit such a raw nerve with me. It’s such a good post.

    (And can I please feature it on AMB, pretty please…?)

  26. Bern Morley says:

    Beautiful post.

    My Mum lived alone for the last 7 years. We saw her at least twice a week but one of the main reasons we moved closer to her was because sometimes we would ring and she wouldn’t answer. Immediately we thought she had slipped in the shower or choked or 100 other different scenarios. My brother lived in Brisbane and I lived in Tweed Heads. Each an hour drive from her.

    Mum got me when she was 42 and even though today, that is a normal age gap, for some reason, it felt generations apart growing up. She was very set in her ways and I am ashamed to say, she used to shit me quite a bit. With her ideals and her criticism. But now, I hope I kind of made up for it a bit after she got sick and looking after the best I could.

    Old people are just us in a set number of years to come. I’m sure we’ll still want respect and for someone to want to be near us when that times comes.

  27. Annie, such a lovely post. When I was a schoolgirl, I gave up one afternoon a week, to visit all the elderly people in a nursing home who didn’t have family/friends to visit them. It was such a wonderful experience … to them yes, but even more to me. These wonderful people had so much wisdom to share, even those whose minds were playing tricks on them or who had alzeimers. I did this for many years, but have not had time in recent years.
    I do remember a lovely aunt and uncle who chose not to have kids, because they had a lovely lifestyle travelling the world and didn’t want to give it up. But then my auntie died, and my uncle spent so many years alone. I would visit when I could and cook for him, and he admitted that he wished he had children of his own.
    I would hate do live/die lonely.
    I think these people have so much to share, but sadly, their wisdom is dying with them.

  28. Veggie Mama says:

    beautifully written, thanks for reminding me. Everyone has a story, and everyone deserves to be loved x

  29. Glowless says:

    I admit to being one of those people who never had much time for the ‘old fogies’, I think in part to having a very mean spirited grandmother. Surely they were all like her? Old and crabby and saying awful things about your family? But then I met my Husband’s grandparents and they are wonderful people. One of his grandmothers is such a joy to be around – I love hearing about how things were when she was growing up and am surprised by how modern she is with internet and a mobile phone! So this definitely had me reaching for tissues, great post.

  30. Maureen says:

    Annie, I am with you all the way. I visit at least twice a week and care for my dad who is 93 and lives 120 Klms away. I am 67, live alone, having recently lost my beloved dog and spend many days and nights not talking to a sole. Life can be a very lonely place when you retire from the workplace, and become absorbed in a caring role, which takes every bit of energy out of you. My reward is that I have discovered so many things about my father that I never even knew, and I grew up in a household shared by my family. I now feel priviledged that I probably now know more than the rest of my family ever knew about my dad and unfortunately they are all no longer with us. When my father passes away, I realise I will be the last one left. Very lonely and very scary. I am documenting my life story, which incorporates his story as well, including all the wonderful war stories he relates to me of his time in action serving the country during the war.

    Thanks Annie, it makes my time with dad very special.

  31. Cynthia says:

    What a beautifully written post about something so close to my heart. My 89 year old grandma is currently living with us in our crazy mad household, and she is this close to going into a nursing home, where it would undoubtedly be much quieter and lonelier. I know that even though this house is crazy she would prefer living the rest of her life with her family than alone in an aged care facility. (I wrote about it here –
    http://cynanne.blogspot.com/2010/10/tuesday-thoughts.html ) My heart aches every time I start thinking about this – coming from an Asian culture, it is almost a “sin” to place your aging parents/grandparents into such a facility..but I guess it’s the norm in our western society. My own parents are already planning their aged care living options! The journey alone during the last years of life is rather a lonely one..I love your post, and the comments left here I’m going DITTO DITTO DITTO.

  32. Cate says:

    So, so poignant, and resonates even more as my own parents age and live in another country, which plays on my mind.

  33. Trish says:

    Beautiful post. It is so sad our elderly are treated so appallingly.
    I worked for a few years part time in a nursing home during my nursing training.It was heartbreaking to see the ladies who never had any visitors.
    When my grandparents were alive I visited them regularly at home & together in care. When my Nana was alone in the nursing home I went most weeks.
    I did meals on wheels when I was first nursing as I had free time in the mornings . I knew that MOW were the only people some elderly ever saw.
    My husband’s (divorced) parents are elderly (83 & 79) but active,still drive and we see them a lot. I always encourage my hub to ring his mum & ask her over.
    My MIL tells us of the things she has to do to help her very elderly & alone neighbours in her small retirement village …most either have no one else to help them or children too far away. She is 79 herself takes them to appointments/shops etc.

  34. bigwords says:

    What a beautifully written and heartfelt post. The quotes at the beginning so sad. We give ourselves to our children, it makes me sad to think so many forget that when their parents need them most. xx

  35. Beautiful post, Annie. So true.

  36. Me says:

    I worked in aged care and some of my clients I’ve been with for just over 2 years. Over this time, I’ve gotten attached to them, their lives and their families.

    It’s so sad to see clients that don’t have family that care or don’t have any family at all. Sometimes I may be the only person they see in days.

    I cherish my job because of what it does for my clients, it enables them to stay in their own homes for as long as possible, it allows them to hold onto their independence – something older people cherish and are routinely forced to give up by “well meaning” family members. I’ve been told by many of my clients that I am their personal, domestic and social angel – which makes my job all the more enjoyable….

  37. Me says:

    *I WORK in aged care, not workED LOL

  38. kat says:

    I feel exactly the same way! My mother is in Brisbane I am in Sydney. My sister and her grown up family live on the gold Coast yet they hardly ever see her. Lucky if it’s once a year. I am in financial hardship and cannot afford to visit her and it breaks my heart. She is 81. She cries on the phone to me and says, “I am an old lady, I won’t be here for much longer and I have done the best I could do for my family. Why am I alone on Christmas?” It is a 45-60 minute drive each way from Mt Gravatt to Broadbeach. My car is unregistered, we are almost 2 weeks overdue in the rent I simply cannot drive from Sydney to Brisbane yet my family can’t drive 45 minutes?! It kills me. I cannot find any services to help either… what has happened to us as a society when our elderly are cast aside so irreverently? All these excuses are given but nothing is deserving. So shameful and I feel so guilty yet I too will be alone at Christmas. How silly, how sad.

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